I can’t speak for all adult adoptees but I can say—after interviewing several of them over the years—that many of us have trouble feeling completely comfortable wherever we are—no matter how welcomed we may be. At times our discomfort can manifest in distancing, indifference, or even rudeness, but we usually don’t intend to insult anybody. We just seem to have an internalized nomadic notion that we don’t belong anywhere in particular. Even when we do settle somewhere we often work our asses off to prove our worthiness—just in case anyone gets any ideas about putting us back up for adoption. While watching my oldest daughter play at a neighborhood park, I thought to myself: “Wow, she looks just like me. What a miracle!” Well, to me it was a miracle. It was thrilling and heart-warming, but it was also a little strange—I almost cried. For the next several months I had to work on emotionally claiming her as my own.

Some of us who were adopted in “closed states” (or states that don’t allow for the free exchange of even the most vital information such as a health history) have a lingering fear that we might drop dead at any moment. I just love filling out the medical history questionnaire at a new doctor’s office; the one that asks what diseases your parents suffered from. How about the question: What age was your father when he died? How should I know? The great state of so and so…won’t tell me. Not knowing one’s medical history is especially annoying to those of us adoptees who have biological children. What am I passing on? Will I be around for the weddings?

By the time I hit my forties I was tired of the intrigue. My adopted parents were deceased and I felt it was time to explore what I came to see as a hole in my life. The research indicates that many adopted children feel this way, and may embark on a biological search even if they’ve had a positive experience with their adopted parents. I also wanted to explore the fantasy that my biological father was Al Pacino and my mother was Candace Bergen (Don’t laugh…she and I both went to Penn).

The search process, as it is affectionately known, was not for the faint of heart—but it was fascinating. By calling in a few favors and hiring a private investigator, I was able to have bio mom tracked down within a few days. Apparently, PIs don’t just sit in cars with a zoom lens; they now use powerful computers to find people. Initially, bio mom was reluctant to speak with me. The PI said she was afraid that I was looking for money. But after convincing her that I was more interested in my medical chart than her portfolio, bio mom allowed me to charm her. No, bio mom wasn’t Candace Bergen—and she assured me Pacino wasn’t pop—but she jokingly told me that as long as I continued to exercise and consume my share of bran muffins I would have a better than even chance of dancing at my daughters’ weddings.

I also discovered that bio mom had some significant attachment issues—go figure. She told me that she was ashamed of putting me up for adoption. Apparently bio dad (deceased by this time) was less than thrilled about being a father at 50. But I got a stronger sense that these two antiseptic, orderly people were thrown off course by the emergent threat of yours truly…and headed for the hills. By the way, bio parents actually had me, put me up for adoption, and then married. More often than not a pregnant teenager is the bio mom and the father is some long-lost guy she barely remembers.

Bio mom and I continued our telephone relationship for the next several years, but sadly enough, it just plain wore out. I got tired of playing in a fixed pursuer-distancer dance and so I did what a lot of adopted kids might do in a situation like this—I disappeared. I took my medical history and a few more tidbits and I faded with a new appreciation for my adopted parents. They weren’t perfect, but neither was I. As for bio mom, I hope she lives forever. She wasn’t a bad sort, and my kids could sure use the good genes.

By: Stephen J Betchen D.S.W.

A family medical history is a record of health information about a person and his or her close relatives. A complete record includes information from three generations of relatives, including children, brothers and sisters, parents, aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews, grandparents, and cousins.

Families have many factors in common, including their genes, environment, and lifestyle. Together, these factors can give clues to medical conditions that may run in a family. By noticing patterns of disorders among relatives, healthcare professionals can determine whether an individual, other family members, or future generations may be at an increased risk of developing a particular condition.

A family medical history can identify people with a higher-than-usual chance of having common disorders, such as heart disease, high blood pressure, stroke, certain cancers, and diabetes. These complex disorders are influenced by a combination of genetic factors, environmental conditions, and lifestyle choices. A family history also can provide information about the risk of rarer conditions caused by mutations in a single gene, such as cystic fibrosis and sickle cell disease.

While a family medical history provides information about the risk of specific health concerns, having relatives with a medical condition does not mean that an individual will definitely develop that condition. On the other hand, a person with no family history of a disorder may still be at risk of developing that disorder.

Knowing one’s family medical history allows a person to take steps to reduce his or her risk. For people at an increased risk of certain cancers, healthcare professionals may recommend more frequent screening (such as mammography or colonoscopy) starting at an earlier age. Healthcare providers may also encourage regular checkups or testing for people with a medical condition that runs in their family. Additionally, lifestyle changes such as adopting a healthier diet, getting regular exercise, and quitting smoking help many people lower their chances of developing heart disease and other common illnesses.

The easiest way to get information about family medical history is to talk to relatives about their health. Have they had any medical problems, and when did they occur? A family gathering could be a good time to discuss these issues. Additionally, obtaining medical records and other documents (such as obituaries and death certificates) can help complete a family medical history. It is important to keep this information up-to-date and to share it with a healthcare professional regularly.

I can’t speak for all adult adoptees but I can say—after interviewing several of them over the years—that many of us have trouble feeling completely comfortable wherever we are—no matter how welcomed we may be. At times our discomfort can manifest in distancing, indifference, or even rudeness, but we usually don’t intend to insult anybody. We just seem to have an internalized nomadic notion that we don’t belong anywhere in particular. Even when we do settle somewhere we often work our asses off to prove our worthiness—just in case anyone gets any ideas about putting us back up for adoption. While watching my oldest daughter play at a neighborhood park, I thought to myself: “Wow, she looks just like me. What a miracle!” Well, to me it was a miracle. It was thrilling and heart-warming, but it was also a little strange—I almost cried. For the next several months I had to work on emotionally claiming her as my own.

Some of us who were adopted in “closed states” (or states that don’t allow for the free exchange of even the most vital information such as a health history) have a lingering fear that we might drop dead at any moment. I just love filling out the medical history questionnaire at a new doctor’s office; the one that asks what diseases your parents suffered from. How about the question: What age was your father when he died? How should I know? The great state of so and so…won’t tell me. Not knowing one’s medical history is especially annoying to those of us adoptees who have biological children. What am I passing on? Will I be around for the weddings?

By the time I hit my forties I was tired of the intrigue. My adopted parents were deceased and I felt it was time to explore what I came to see as a hole in my life. The research indicates that many adopted children feel this way, and may embark on a biological search even if they’ve had a positive experience with their adopted parents. I also wanted to explore the fantasy that my biological father was Al Pacino and my mother was Candace Bergen (Don’t laugh…she and I both went to Penn).

The search process, as it is affectionately known, was not for the faint of heart—but it was fascinating. By calling in a few favors and hiring a private investigator, I was able to have bio mom tracked down within a few days. Apparently, PIs don’t just sit in cars with a zoom lens; they now use powerful computers to find people. Initially, bio mom was reluctant to speak with me. The PI said she was afraid that I was looking for money. But after convincing her that I was more interested in my medical chart than her portfolio, bio mom allowed me to charm her. No, bio mom wasn’t Candace Bergen—and she assured me Pacino wasn’t pop—but she jokingly told me that as long as I continued to exercise and consume my share of bran muffins I would have a better than even chance of dancing at my daughters’ weddings.

I also discovered that bio mom had some significant attachment issues—go figure. She told me that she was ashamed of putting me up for adoption. Apparently bio dad (deceased by this time) was less than thrilled about being a father at 50. But I got a stronger sense that these two antiseptic, orderly people were thrown off course by the emergent threat of yours truly…and headed for the hills. By the way, bio parents actually had me, put me up for adoption, and then married. More often than not a pregnant teenager is the bio mom and the father is some long-lost guy she barely remembers.

Bio mom and I continued our telephone relationship for the next several years, but sadly enough, it just plain wore out. I got tired of playing in a fixed pursuer-distancer dance and so I did what a lot of adopted kids might do in a situation like this—I disappeared. I took my medical history and a few more tidbits and I faded with a new appreciation for my adopted parents. They weren’t perfect, but neither was I. As for bio mom, I hope she lives forever. She wasn’t a bad sort, and my kids could sure use the good genes.

By: Stephen J Betchen D.S.W.

Magnetic Partners

Grandparent DNA testing can be very valuable in terms of establishing relationships. Any time the alleged father of a child is not available for testing, the next best type of testing is a grandparent DNA test using both of the alleged father’s biological parents. With both of the alleged father’s biological parents involved, we essentially have 100% of the alleged father’s DNA. Typically, we can compare the child in question to both alleged paternal grandparents without testing the mother. In the event that a test containing both biological parents of the alleged father does come back inconclusive, which is rare to begin with, we can add the mother of the child into the test to strengthen the result. If and when both biological parents of the alleged father are not available, we can use one. When comparing one grandparent, either the grandfather or grandmother, to the child, we prefer to add the mother of the child into the case initially in order to lessen the likelihood of an inconclusive result. If the mother of the child is not available, we can test only one grandparent and one child, however, the probability of an inconclusive result is much higher.

A grandparent DNA test is helpful any time the alleged father of a child is either not available for testing or if he refuses to be involved in the test. If you are having DNA testing performed for any legal or paperwork purpose, such as for survivor benefits in the case of a deceased alleged father, please verify first that the organization you are working with will accept test results from a grandparent DNA test. In some cases, they will not.

One of our DNA specialists can help you determine which option is right for you.

A Colorado prison inmate’s claims that Prince was his father were disproved by DNA test results, according to the Associated Press and TMZ.

Both outlets cite sources who have seen the documents, which have been sealed by the Minnesota judge overseeing Prince’s estate in the absence of a will.

The man in question, Carlin Q. Williams, will no longer be entitled to inherit Prince’s fortune, estimated to be worth up to $300 million. Williams’ mother, Marsha Henson, told the AP she did not believe the results.

“I don’t believe that. I think they’re positive,” said Henson, who has claimed she had unprotected sex with Prince at a Kansas City, Missouri, hotel in 1976.

Williams, a 39-year-old whose criminal record includes drug and domestic violence charges, is serving eight years in federal prison for unlawfully transporting a firearm in a stolen vehicle.

Williams had long asserted that he was Prince’s son, though it’s not clear whether Prince was aware of that. Before he went to prison, Williams was trying to launch a career as a hip-hop artist under the moniker Prince Dracula.

TMZ first reported the DNA results.

Judge Kevin Eide sealed the documents on Wednesday “due to the confidential nature of the determination of heirship issues,” according to documents filed with the court and obtained by USA TODAY.

Prince died of an accidental drug overdose on April 21  in his Paisley Park compound in Carver County, Minn., and no will has been located. Prince left no parents, spouses or known children.

Williams’ Florida attorney, Patrick Cousins, and his publicist, Bruce Lewis, did not return emails seeking comment.

“There is really nothing to say,” Prince’s nephew President Nelson told the AP. “There isn’t much to say because it was never a thing.”

Under Minnesota law, full siblings and half-siblings are treated equally for the purposes of inheritance. Both of Prince’s now deceased parents had children with other spouses and relationships.

The estate has to separate the legitimate relatives from the scores of people coming forward, many of whom may be frauds or mistaken, before it can fairly distribute the assets of Prince’s estate.

Meanwhile, would-be heirs have been coming forward, although Eide had set a deadline earlier this month for filing paternity and kinship claims. Many of the claimants have sought to have their DNA test results and their testimony sealed so as not to be forced to discuss sensitive family matters in open court.

At last count, in addition to his one full sister, Tyka Nelson and his half-dozen known half-siblings or their descendants, at least three more half-siblings have come forward, along with at least two more previously unknown children (other than Williams) and seven people who claim to be descendants of the sister of Prince’s great-great grandfather.

Article by: Andrea Mandell, USA TODAY

In cases where neither the alleged father nor a sample for the alleged father is available for testing, who should be compared to the child? Well, the very best option when the alleged father is not available is to have both of his biological parents test. Therefore, testing the child’s alleged biological paternal grandparents.  If only one alleged paternal grandparent is available but the other is not, testing the one alleged paternal grandparent along with the mother of the child is a good option.

If no paternal grandparents are available, an alleged paternal aunt, uncle or sibling can be compared to the child in question. As with any relationship test, there is a chance of an inconclusive result. An inconclusive result simply means there is not enough DNA to say one way or another whether a biological relationship exists between the relative(s) and the child in question. This is why it is so important to determine which parties to include in the DNA test in order to produce the strongest result possible based on your specific situation. Many times, the sex of the child makes a difference as to which relative(s) need to be included in the test.

A True Story: We have always stressed the importance of having DNA testing performed by an AABB Accredited facility. Now, after an incident we personally dealt with, we realize how important it actually is.

Summer 2011: An adult female contacts DNA Paternity Testing Centers inquiring about paternity testing.  She says, “I need to have a legally binding paternity test done for myself and my father.” We schedule a paternity test via our Standard Option.

When the results came back, the probability of paternity was a 0%. When the results were given, we could tell the woman sounded upset. About 15 minutes later, she called us back. The woman was in shock and very upset. She explained that she had taken a paternity test in California a little over 3 years ago, prior to moving to Texas and the results indicated the gentleman was her biological father. We asked if she could recall what company she used and/or if she had a copy of the results. She explained the results were filed away in storage and she would try to find them. She explained the test was relatively inexpensive and the results of that test were not legally binding. However, the results sent to her were 99.99%. The only reason she contacted us was because they now needed a legally binding result for some underlying reason.  We empathized with the woman, realizing she was in a tough situation.

The woman was interested in getting another test. We recommended she schedule our Expedited Option, which is performed by a different AABB Accredited laboratory than our Standard Option. We told her if the results for the Expedited Option were different than those of the Standard Option, the case would be investigated and she would not be charged.  She agreed and the two of them went in for a second, legally binding paternity test with our company. Unfortunately for them, the result, again, came back as a 0%, indicating the gentleman was indeed not her biological father.

We produced the original legal documents for 2 separate paternity tests, both performed by 2 different AABB Accredited facilities. Clearly, the non-legal test they had used 3 plus years ago was inaccurate and they had been falsely led to believe they were father and daughter.

We are not saying that all non-legal tests are inaccurate. In fact, we offer a non-legal option ourselves. However, we are saying it is very important to research the testing facility you schedule testing with. Make certain the testing lab possesses the proper accreditations. Being accredited means the laboratory has passed vigorous testing and procedures verifying the integrity and validity of the entire process. When it comes to DNA testing, please verify the facility you are using provides testing performed by an AABB Accredited laboratory.